can we start over again?

Aug 14, 2025

Can we start over?

This time, I promise not to fall for you. I promise that we'll be just friends, no strings attached. We would talk, and we would laugh. We'd have silly little arguments, little disputes, maybe one or two big fights, but we'd always resolve them.

I promise I won't push too hard, and I'll push when necessary. I won't be too much and too little. I'll give you just what you need, and a little bit more. I won't idolize you or put you on a pedestal. I won't strip you of your humanity or limit you to a fantasy, a protagonist in the perfect story.

I will earn your trust, because trust shouldn't be given freely. Everyone has to earn it, and I will earn it brick by brick. I know what silence between us sounds like. I've lived in it. I won't go there again, not unless you lead me. I’ll try my best not to break what I hope to rebuild, even when we disagree about the choices we each defend.

And still, I won’t fall for you.

I’ll listen when you talk about the things that matter to you. The books you’ve read. The YouTube links you send. The ideas that keep you up at night. Even when they don’t matter to me, I’ll listen, and I’ll learn. Not because I have to. But because they matter to you, and that makes them worth knowing.

When you call, I’ll pick up. I’ll match your pace, meet you at your level, challenge your mind the way you like it. I won’t nag in your DMs when you don’t reply. I won’t be a constant annoying notification. Instead I’ll be the kind of friend who keeps you on your toes and makes you feel seen.

But again, I won’t fall for you.

And don't worry, I won't dream of you. I won't think of you, not so much. Just enough to be considered a platonic friend. I won’t fall into bed with you. I won’t fall into like with you. I won’t beg for your attention or ask for more than you’re willing to give.

There’ll be no flashbacks, no cravings, no dirty words haunting the corners of my mind. My body won’t know you that way.

I’ll ask about your family. I’ll show up when you need comfort and disappear when you need space. I won’t press in. I won’t linger. I’ll let you come to me on your own terms. Because that’s what friends do. And I’m just your friend.

Maybe we’ll joke around. Share little references. Give each other silly nicknames. But you won’t call me gorgeous, and you won’t call me baby. You won’t say things just to get me breathless, that’s not what friends do. And I'll stick to your name, maybe hello stranger once in a while, because I promise not to fall for you.

I’ll tell you how kind you are. How ambitious. How much light you bring into a world like this. I’ll tell you how your mind stretches mine, how your honesty disarms me. How you make me feel safe even when I don’t like what you’re saying. I’ll tell you that you changed how I carry myself. That you made me grow in ways you’ll never take credit for. And I’ll say it the way a friend says it. I’ll try to mean it that way.

But maybe I’ll say it too softly. Or maybe you’ll hear something I didn’t mean to say. Maybe my voice will give me away. Or my laugh when you say something funny. Or maybe you’ll hear the rhythm of my heart chasing after yours, and you’ll know.

Because the truth is, I don’t know how to keep a promise I’ve already broken.

The friendship hasn’t even started and already, I think I’m in love with you.